Remembering Mary

My Aunt Mary passed away this week. She was my dad's sister. She was 57, only one year older than my dad. The hardest part about this was that Mary and Kendi were very close.



Mary had found out that she had brain tumors back in October. She tried some treatments and tried to get more, but most of the doctors felt like there was nothing they could do for her. I was pregnant when she was diagnosed and I remember wondering if she would make it to see Aydri. She wanted to so bad. Fortunately she did, but she wasn't able to hold her.


Mary was fascinated with being known as an outlaw cowboy. She had definitely made a name for herself as that. She was very gifted with animals. I remember her telling stories about a bull named Oscar. It was so mean that someone was having trouble with it. I don't remember all the details. This bull loved Mary so much that it would follow her around mending fences so closely that she could see its horns on either side of her as she walked.


Growing up, I was never very close to Mary, but one summer she took us up on the Fifty Mile Bench (the top of the Grand Staircase) where she ranched. This was an extraordinary trip, one I will always remember. It took pack mules and horses to get there. I actually walked the whole way because the ledges made it dangerous to ride the horses. There was no way to get a four wheeler up the trail. This was very rough country. When we got on top, I remember walking in a single file line with my uncle in front and my dad in back with their rifles. The bulls were too mean to just walk past. We camped by her little cabin. I remember her telling stories and reminiscing. We went for horseback rides. I rode a mule named Lovey that was actually half Zebra. It was a pretty buckskin color with a short black mane and a few black stripes on its knees. It also wasn't very tame. The other horses were Rex, Tinker, Bunny, Smurf, and Barnabus (Beux). She showed us things that most people in their lifetime will never get to see.


Kendi had gotten to know Mary a few years ago when they started to take walks with my mom every night. Mary really took to Kendi and her love for life. As Mary got sicker and sicker Kendi would go visit her. She would color with Mary and play with toys and just talk to her a lot. After Mary had taken a turn for the worst, for some reason Kendi wanted to go see her really bad. Mary hadn't been in good spirits so I told her I'd take her the next day. I took a camera with me to get a picture of the two of them. I wanted Kendi to remember her, but Mary was not well enough for a picture. She was really struggling so I took Kendi outside. I didn't want her to see Mary suffer. While she was out there she started to play with Mary's dog, Renie. A crowd gathered at the window because Renie was thought to be a one person dog. Mary had spoiled it to point where it didn't take to anyone else. For some reason it listened to Kendi. I tried to get a picture, but I wasn't fast enough. Everyone thought the moment was lost, but I went out and told Kendi to play with Renie. She asked her to roll over and she did. Kendi even rubbed her tummy.

The next morning we got the phone call that Mary had passed in the night. It was a little unexpected. We had to tell Kendi that Mary had died. It made her cry. We tried to explain that Mary was living with Heavenly Father now. Kendi said that she didn't want her to. So we told her that Mary wasn't sick anymore. That she was happy and able to do things she wants to now. She seemed to except that and be glad. I think kids understand the plan of salvation better than adults do sometimes.

The memorial service was nice. I was surprised at how many people were able to come with such short notice. My mom had Kendi get Mary some flowers.

Her casket was simple. It was just what she wanted.

My dad told some good stories and Zhailee Rei (their cousin) sang a beautiful song. I had Kendi take a flower and put it on her casket.

It is a little bit of a relief that Mary was finally able to pass. Its sad that she got cancer and passed so young. We know that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us and I'm sure that Mary will be able to find the happiness that she was never able to find here.